Let it Rain...Open the Floodgates of Heaven

So it has been an interesting couple of weeks. We have been praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit and God has answered our prayers. The Holy Spirit has totally been poured out over IHOP. It started about 2 weeks ago, the first year students at the Bible school were giving testimonies of their walk with God and one of the girls got up and talked about an encounter she had where God totally set her free from an eating disorder and all of the after effects on parts of her body, like her stomach and kidneys were damaged. So anyway the students continued to give their testimonies throughout the week and this past Wednesday they were doing testimonies and for whatever reason the Holy Spirit just fell in that place and all of a sudden all of the students quit their classes and went into the main room and started worshiping and it just went crazy from there. All day long people were instantly being delivered from self-hatred and eating disorders and depression and there were even some physical healing. So I didn’t know any of this was happening. It was my Sabbath and I had actually decided to go shopping because I still needed some long sleeve shirts as it is continuing to get colder up here. So one of my roommates and I were shopping and she got a text that the Spirit had fallen at the fsm building where the students were and had been going on since 9 that morning and we needed to get there if we could. It was like 6:30 pm and since it was the Sabbath I was going to hang out with my friend Ginnette so I was like I dunno what’s going on but I’m sure it’s not that interesting. So I went to Ginnette’s and I was telling her about my day and shopping and then about the text that the spirit had fallen at fsm and she was like we’re going. I was like yeah I don’t really want to go. I was actually really scared. I talk about how I want this huge encounter with God but I’m actually really terrified of it actually happening. Anyway, we waited for her husband to get home and then we went and the place was packed out! I have never seen anything like it in my life. The Bible says in the last days God is going to pour out His spirit and people are going to prophecy and people would get healed and it is happening. We have had prayer meetings every night since Wednesday and people are getting healed left and right. There have been people physically healed from all kinds of things. People have gotten up and given testimonies about how they were healed and there have been various people who were healed of asthma, one girl prayed for her eyes and now doesn’t need her glasses, there were 4 or 5 who had like 20% hearing loss in their ear and now they can hear perfectly, one person had a leg that was shorter than the other and it literally grew out like 2 or 3 inches and now they’re the same, there have been healings of body aches and backs coming into alignment, and on and on. More than anything though there have been inner healings all over the place. People are getting set free from depression and self-hatred and anger and all kinds of addictions like in an instant. All if takes is the love of God. I’m so excited to see it because I just knew it was possible. I just knew that all it took was a minute and God could set you free! It’s such a faith builder. It is so cool to listen to everyone’s stories of how God is setting them free from stuff and just speaking to their hearts and revealing His love. Now all that being said, I have felt nothing. Go figure! The girl who’s desperate for the presence of God still can’t feel it when He pours it out. But it’s ok. I’m really enjoying watching others get deliverance and I’m really enjoying praying for people. I’m also getting prayed for when I hear something I want prayer for. I don’t know what God is doing but I trust His leadership over my life and that His banner over me is still love. I do have a heightened sense of expectation though.
So super vulnerable moment and I can’t actually believe this is going to be posted but here goes. So I’ve been going hard after God for about 4 or 5 years and I don’t think I have felt the presence of God this whole time. (I may have but I can’t imagine that I would feel it and not know it.) Anyway some of you already know this but the one thing I have been praying for as long as I can remember is a hug from God. Everyone always talks about feeling God’s embrace. There’s this part in Song of Solomon where God removes His presence from the girl and then she goes out and searches everywhere for Him. Then finally she finds Him and it says she holds Him and doesn’t let Him go. There’s a song I heard once at the Katy Prayer Room and the lyrics said something like hold me and don’t let go until I believe you love me. And that’s what I want. I want to feel the tangible arms of God and I want Him to hold me until I believe He loves me. Now I have told several people this and I was met with a lot of different responses, all well meaning of course but basically people tried to tell me not to get my hopes up. However I have never given up hope. I am convinced that God is going to encounter me during this last 1 ½ months. Now that the spirit fell and people are getting touched and healed and encountered I have so much faith that it’s coming. When I first got here the first time I was prayed for and the girl said she saw me on my knees worshiping before Jesus she also told me that God said and that thing that you’ve been so diligently praying for, it’s coming. I’ve also had a bunch of people praying over me recently and there’s a common theme about the winter being over and the drought ending and the river of refreshing coming and that this is my spring season so I’m just waiting and praying that it happens soon. I thought I was ridiculously hungry for God when I got here but since being here I have just gotten increased hunger and longing and I’m to the point of God if You don’t show up soon I’m going to die. And they say that’s a good place to be because that’s the place where he might actually show up. So anyway if you only pray one thing for me let that be it. That I would get a hug from God where I feel His tangible arms around me and he would not let go until I believe He loves me. I actually had been praying that it would happen on my birthday since I won’t be with my friends and family and that would just be the most amazing birthday present ever! Total side note: My birthday is coming up on the 24th (just in case you forgot ;-P) and one of my roommates is going to make me a strawberry cake and then all the track 2 girls are going to pray over me so I’m excited. Anyway, I have no idea how long this little revival thing is going to last. I have a feeling it will lift and it won’t be like this forever. We also have a 21 day fast that was scheduled for December. And get this, it ends the last day of the track. Now that is no coincidence. So I just have a heightened expectation of God moving and really encountering me and setting me free from whatever junk is still there so that I can finally receive and believe His love for me and then pour it out onto my friends and family.
2 weeks ago at Hope City they had an altar call for people who were desperate for the Lord and I was standing up there and a lady came over and asked me how she could pray for me. I told her and she said oh that explains the picture I got when I walked up to you. She said she saw a dry desert and it was just the ground, no sand or anything, and there were like cracks and holes all across the ground and no water anywhere in sight. She said she saw me crawling across the ground and I was desperate and thirsty and basically looked like I was going to die if I didn’t get water soon. Then I was like yeah that pretty much sums up how I feel right now. So she prayed for me and then towards the end she asked me if I had a hard time hearing the voice of God or distinguishing His voice from other voices. I said as a matter of fact I do and she said she saw a swirl around my head and just lots of confusion and there was a reason that I was having a hard time. Then she prayed for me some more and I told her I was frustrated because I feel like I’ve been prayed for so much and go up for like every altar call and then Corey Russell prayed for me and I thought that was finally it and I was just tired of not being free. She said she had actually been there herself and she said it’s easy to give into shame but to push through and keep going up for altar calls. She also said she felt like God was going to use me in some form of deliverance ministry and since I have been there I will be able to be compassionate and understanding of the people who I will helping. So that was pretty cool. The first time I came to the prophecy room up here they prophesied Isaiah 61 over me and said that God wanted to set me free first and then He was going to use me to set others free. So that was some sort of confirmation I guess? Anyway last weekend I was sitting at the table eating my breakfast and I was talking to my roommate and she asked me about the lady praying for me because she was curious what she prayed since I was crying so much and I told her all of that and then she started crying and was like you have no idea how good this is for me to hear this right now. I have always heard all of these tormenting voices and I have felt crazy but I have never told anyone because I didn’t think anyone else would understand. So we talked for a while and I asked her if she ever went up for prayer and she said no and I was like you need to go up if you feel like it’s for you because I just feel like there’s an altar call for you I really do. Then after I said it I was like why did I say that? Then I said and I’ll try to help you as much as I can but I don’t know how much help I’ll be. I don’t think mine’s as bad as yours but I’m kinda in the same struggle as you. So anyway the next night we were at EGS service and during worship the prayer leader got on the mic and started saying all this stuff and basically describing her situation and the whole time I was just looking right at my roommate. Then he asked if you wanted prayer for that to raise your hand and she just stood there! So I was like uh-uh. I went up to her and raised her hand for her and she laughed at me and I started praying for her. It was ridiculous! I started to pray for her and the things that came out of my mouth totally surprised me. There is no way that was me. When I was praying I felt really powerful and like there was authority on my words. My roommate was crying and coughing and basically getting set free and God used me to do it! She told me after that she couldn’t even begin to tell me how amazing my prayer for her was. That night she said she only heard the thoughts like 4 times instead of constantly. I was so excited that God used me! And I love that there’s no way I can boast and say that I did it because there’s no way that any of that came from me. I think it’s really funny too because I had told her I didn’t know how I could help and God showed me that He can use me now even in my weak broken state where I don’t know what I’m doing when I pray for people. He’s doing all the work, I just have to be a willing vessel so He can use me. Pray for more! Again I am just so amazed that I am here right now. We talked to our leader Clay last night about everything that is going on and how often it had happened before and he said it has never been like this before. I hear the webstream is free during the egs services too which is Friday and Saturday night at 6pm. Just go to ihop.org and click on live webstream. It may have only been this week though but definitely check it out if you can.